watchmewrite

First alcohol purchase EVER! At 12:15 of my 21st birthday...

Mon, 14 May 2012 00:32:24 -0700

First alcohol purchase EVER! At 12:15 of my 21st birthday :)

Please excuse my appearance in the first picture…haha

Sometimes I hate...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:36:32 -0700

being open and honest. I tell him how I feel, really and truly, and it just makes me feel vulnerable and insecure! I just wish I didn’t care as much most of the time. I also don’t really know what I want…because my last relationship didn’t work out so well. I don’t think I’m ready for that commitment, but I want more commitment than friendship. I want someone to flirt with and…stuff. I just needed to vent all that out. Life is complicated.

Photo

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:39:32 -0700

hoooowwwww rooooomaaaaanticccc

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:39:24 -0700

hoooowwwww rooooomaaaaanticccc

Photo

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:38:55 -0700

classic <3

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:38:43 -0700

classic <3

need.

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:38:32 -0700

need.

I feel like this is too real for Facebook, so it will be...

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:38:24 -0700

I feel like this is too real for Facebook, so it will be reblogged on Tumblr :)

I wish I could do this haha

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 17:15:43 -0700

I wish I could do this haha

But…it’s so hard to take that leap!

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:08:14 -0700

But…it’s so hard to take that leap!

oliviawaite: Library-inspired business cards! NEED

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:07:59 -0700

oliviawaite:

Library-inspired business cards!

NEED

hunger games <3

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:07:51 -0700

hunger games <3

I need to go here…

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:07:08 -0700

I need to go here…

Photo

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 22:17:53 -0800

butthorn: I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people...

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 22:17:46 -0800

butthorn:

I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people during the sinking of the ship to help with the 3D experience

yes. yes. yes.

bruised.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:36:29 -0800

It’s only been 2 days, haven’t talked to him at all, and it’s really hard. I think it’s so difficult because it doesn’t just feel like I lost someone who I have feelings for, who could be a potential boyfriend, but because it feels like I lost my best friend. And that’s who he is. He knows me deeper than most people. So he must know how hard this is for me, and that makes it worse a little. Gah boo-hoo for me, go listen to Mescaline by Robert Francis, that is all.

to follow that up...

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:52:50 -0800

So we had the talk, and we’re nothing. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not heartbroken, but my heart is a little cracked. I feel like I’ve wasted three years of my life. I feel like he doesn’t even care how I feel…even though I know he does. And that’s kind of the hard part. I can’t hate him for this. I can’t say “oh what an asshole, I hope I never see him again.” I can’t just cut him out of my life permanently. He’s one of my best friends. He knows me, and parts of my soul better than most. I just don’t know how to make myself feel better this time. Usually I would talk with HIM to make me feel better. I mean okay listening to Adele probably isn’t helping matters, but I just wish he cared about me the way I do about him. I gotta say the blow to the heart was when he said that in a perfect world our relationship would stay the same. In my perfect world we’d be together, and it’s not that way for him.

As much as I’m going to want to, I can’t wait for him. I hope that this blog doesn’t become a space of those horribly sappy “boo-hoo poor me” quotes and pictures, but don’t react too violently if it does for a little. I’ll be fine, eventually. But right now, the night of, I feel pretty raw. I feel like countless times I’ve made myself vulnerable to him and he has never reciprocated in the way that I have. I still am not over the fact that he doesn’t see us being in a relationship now, but he can picture marrying me and having children with me.

Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere?

of. course.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:43:30 -0800

So this is the day we were supposed to talk. We were supposed to work out everything we were worried about and fucking F-I-N-A-L-L-Y move forward. We have been friends for three years. We find out just last month that we have BOTH had feelings for each other the whole time. Romantic comedy plot much? The part that isn’t in the movie is where it takes us a month to talk about what we want to do, and then at the last second, the day we are supposed to meet, a mere two hours before, you send me a text asking to reschedule. I get that you’re in a bad mood and honestly its probably best we don’t talk if you are because I want you at your best and your most optimistic but it’s really hard to continue having patience with you. I have waited for THREE YEARS to have this conversation. I have waiting FOREVER to get off this rollar coaster ride and get a concrete decision from you. Seriously. I am ready to just get this conversation over with, know where we are going to go from here and have a starting point off which to live the rest of my life. At this point I am so ready to have ANY decision. I don’t even care if I don’t get the direction I want as long as I have one!

*phew*

I obviously needed to vent about all that. Because how do you put that in a text?

i need this cat…

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:14:39 -0800

i need this cat…

hottest disney character. WOO!

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:26:35 -0800

hottest disney character. WOO!